It's really about letting go of what happens after you do something. You hit 'send' and wait. You press 'dial' and wait. You nod 'hey' and wait. But what if you didn't get stuck in the waiting? What if what happened next was a surprise and not only were you ok with that- you loved that?
There is no expected outcome. This is an experiment without a hypothesis. I'm working it backwards. Expect nothing less than nothing.
This is where it's been wrong all along- I've only ever been disappointed with myself. I want to eat this bagel and enjoy it. I want to be in this moment and feel arms around me and just be. I'm on this little seesaw- trying to find the way to the middle.
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I tried not waiting
ReplyDeletebut I kept waking up
at 1:43am
I told myself
it's because I love
to watch the white rats
but really I want
to check facebook.
(I only speak poetry.)
There are a lot of dangers to constant motion
ReplyDeleteit gets so difficult to see where you're going.
But I find when I stop
my mind cannot help
but return over and over to the places my constant wandering
has led me away from.