I've put a lot of different pictures in this frame

Right now, it's your wedding picture. Well, it's actually the one where Mike is pulling the garter off. You're in this truly awful lace dress and sitting on a folding chair. It's probably at the VFW in Kent or something.

It's funny that it makes me feel hopeful. For romance. For love. Because we all know what a burning train you guys were on. And it's not like you've done much better for yourself, either. That said, there is something in your eyes and in the way you are looking at him. I wonder if you'd do it all again knowing the outcome. I wish I had it in me to ask you.

I feel like no matter how far and small I've made myself, I'm still somehow becoming like you. Even my awful handwriting is changing to look more like yours. Although I still dress like Fagan. I still have his jacket. I wonder if I make the same poor choices you do. I wonder if men have whispered the same things in your ear that women whisper to me.

I want to know if I'm going to be that woman in the chair- although I know I won't have a dress on. I wonder if I'll ever stand up and have someone take this hand for better or worse. I never want to be divorced so maybe I'll just never get married. I already know it doesn't work though. You can't avoid divorce just by avoiding a marriage. I've got the scars to prove it.

And here I am, with your picture at my door, ready to set out and do it all over again. Yup. And it feels pretty good, truth be told. And funnier still, I've got Helen's necklace on for luck. Go figure.