Monogologue

But it's not lying. Because in the moment I said it, it was true for me. And then the next moment when it wasn't, I just never corrected it.

Because I got what I wanted. Which is you and not you. Because I'm too scared to really go without and I'm too scared to feel like I'm missing out.

Because I want you in my bed, always. Except when you aren't and then I want someone else. It's really for your benefit- because I roll to the middle too easily when you aren't there. And then when you come back, you have to keep pushing me to the right.... well maybe it's the dip in the bed and maybe it's that I just want to be close to (you) or you know... whoever.

I tried to tell you I was bad but you just wouldn't believe me. You believe everything else I say and now do you believe this? You should. Because I do. and I'll make it as true as I can manage- that's how strongly I believe it.

This monogamy thing, I don't think it's for me. I don't want to miss an opportunity, well I guess a different opportunity. Other than the one I'm missing now. The one that would let me see how awesome I could grow to be with you in my planter instead of my garden.