I know I said I was angry, but it was really just for a minute. And while I wish it could have been different, I really only meant that for a minute too. I think what I loved most about you was how you could sleep through anything. Even through me dying in my sleep.
I predicted that I'd wake from sleepwalking 6 months before I actually did. I did a lot of things in those months that would indicate that I was still sleep deprived, that I was still oxygen deprived, that I was still reason deprived. And what is my excuse today?
I bet I'd still like you better when you're sleeping. I've spent so much of my life making myself invisible, holding my breath. I don't feel as compelled to anymore, though. Because there's no one here to ignore me.
I get up way too early. Like I'm going to miss something. While there really is a lot I miss there's not much I'd wake up early to get back. It's more like I'm waiting for something and trying not to wait. I'm putting on the tea and working on distracting myself so as not to watch the pot boil. I just hope I remember it's on before it all evaporates away.
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"I get up way too early. Like I'm going to miss something." story of my life.
ReplyDeleteF.O.M.O: fear of missing out. did you know I sometimes feel this way when I'm watching dvds. Like I'm missing something because what I'm watching has been taped, not live.
yet I never miss anything.
Tragic! Don't worry- everything is being recorded and carefully cataloged for you in FB updates, blogs and twatter. I'm becoming convinced we only do things so we can tell everyone that we did them.
ReplyDeleteCan I post your white rat poem from a comment a few months ago?